Reasons Why Dogs Don't Use Computers ...

Articles Index/Humor
Posted 02/17/05

1. Can't stick their heads out of Windows 98
2. Fetch command not available on all platforms
3. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side
4. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit
5. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail"
6. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating
7. Involuntary tail wagging is dead givaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working
8. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee
9. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver
10. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging
11. Oh, but they WILL with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thump
12. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
13. `Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand
14. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software
15. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test
16. Sit and Stay were hard enough. GREP and AWK are out of the question!
17. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver
18. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's leg
19. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms
20. TrO{gO SsH[D,a Rn> HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;aWqS.

ANTIC, December, 2004