Articles Index/Humor
Posted 08/29/02
This virus is no joke. It is progressive and dangerous. It will begin with one cute puppy usually obtained for companionship.
You will not realize that you have been infected, even when you begin trying to convince your family that searching for a better quality dog food is more important than buying groceries.
You may not recognize the symptoms even when 90% of your snail mail consists of pet supply catalogues and dog show premium lists, and "sick days" have all been used to visit every dog show within 600 miles.
By the time the virus has taken a firm hold, you will have reduced your yard to a safe area that can be enjoyed by your dogs. You will be trying to sell the kids' swing set to pay for the latest dog toy.
Your computer will threaten to crash because of the huge amounts of dog web sites, nutrition sites, pedigree programs, rescue lists, advice lists, dog images, and canine health html bookmarks that have filled all available space. You will "borrow" from your child's college fund or IRA to add more memory.
This virus will take over every room of your house in the form of flyers, catalogues, premium lists, dog toys, dog beds, crates, dog food, and dog treats. You will begin to avoid anyone who doesn't have a dog and will try to convert anyone who doesn't know your breed.
Your family will not recognize you unless you are covered with dog hair. You will seriously consider a second mortgage to take advantage of dog toy sales or, even worse, dog show entries.
Depression will set in immediately after the last dog show of the season. Your own dog will worry about you. There is no cure.
Thankfully, there are groups where you can talk to others who have been infected and who will understand you. With luck, they'll also know of a really good sale on dog food and supplements
From the Internet author unknown ... Author unknown
ANTIC, June, 2002
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